Life Lessons My Momma Told Me
by tophaintweak
Summary: A story about what Lin remembers Of Toph especially what she taught her. Oh boy this is gonna be a bumpy ride because Toph way of teaching isn't exactly 'the best '. Oneshot please R
1. Chapter 1

A/N : ok this is something I thought Toph would teach Lin when she was little hope you enjoy

Life Lessons

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"


	2. Chapter 2

MOTHER TOLD ME THIS

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.  
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.  
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.  
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.  
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.  
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.  
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.  
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.  
9 Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.  
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.  
11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.  
12. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.  
13. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.  
14. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.  
15. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.  
16. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.  
17. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.  
18. Over prepare, and then go with the flow.  
19. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.  
20. The most important sex organ is the brain. 21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.  
22. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"  
23. Always choose life.  
24. Forgive everyone everything.  
25. What other people think of you is none of your business.  
26. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.  
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.  
28. Believe in miracles.  
29. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.  
30. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.  
31. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.  
32. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.  
33. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.  
34. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.  
35. The best is yet to come.  
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.  
37. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.  
38. If you don't ask, you don't get.  
39. Yield.  
40. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.


End file.
